My dear family and friends, all over. Thank you for your financial support via the fundly site. I am so appreciative. That is a weight off, knowing I have financial helpers in my pro-health journey. Thank you. 🙏🏼
Checking in, this last week has been a bit hard. I had a wrangle with changing pain meds, and have decided to just be off the opioids entirely. I ended up getting allergic / nauseous. And I’ve discovered I don’t need that kind of pain relief anyway. So that is good. I’ve switched over to THC/CBD in a 1:1 ratio and that seems to do plenty of what I need, and maybe I don’t even “need” that, but mostly want to have the cannabinoids in my system helping in the pro-health process.
However, in the process of said drug wrangling, and frankly being over-medicated, I allowed myself to skip a number, too many, of my TPN “meals” and ended up causing my potassium levels to drop to almost dangerously low levels. So I’m currently in the hospital again for them to get those levels back up. Almost there. Should be released this morning or maybe noon.
Also, it became evident yesterday at a different infusion that my PICC line didn’t seem to be working correctly, so while I was here at the hospital ER yesterday they removed the old PICC line which had apparently shimmied up too high in my chest somehow, and installed a new one in the other arm. It works much better!
I’m not sure if I’ve said this but the arm of the original PICC line has acquired blood clots, and we are treating it with injections in the belly twice a day, with clot dissolving meds. So my left arm is swollen but apparently they are not worried.
So that’s where I am with the physicality.
On the mental and emotional side it’s been a bit of a roller coaster. As I said, my gyn-onc team doesn’t have much else to offer me other than palliative care. And as I said, I’m not willing to just lay down and give up yet. So I’ll be pursuing other non-conventional treatments to stem the tide. In the meantime however, I need to keep up the TPN, and it’s seeming the best way to do that will be to sign up with Palliative Care services, possibly through our local hospice agency, Pathways. However I did find out that signing up for hospice care is NOT where I’m at. That is purely end of life comfort care, where they do not participate in any life-extending work, which includes TPN and even fluids. So I’m nowhere close to being ready for them yet. That was kind of good find out. Besides which I am hoping to put all that off indefinitely.
I have continued with alternative treatments including mistletoe, massage, PEMF, counseling, and just in general a lot more emoting this week. I think my step-sis Lynne is really helping me through a technique she is using which is called The Emotion Code. I don’t know much about it, but it seems to be helping me release emotions, from afar. So thank you to Lynne! 🙏🏼 Beyond releasing old emotions, it seems to have liberated my appreciation for now, for every little thing — the grass growing, the sound of rain, love for my Grant — this refound appreciation and gratitude has been a gift.
The massage this week was extremely therapeutic, a ministry even. CJ is gifted. Having care, attention, intuitive, knowledge-based touch, is so comforting and healing. She creates a soothing and healing environment, which is transporting.
My massage therapist, CJ, informed me that there is a portable, wearable, home version of the PEMF machine, which would allow me a lot more contact time with these healing frequencies, and so I looked into that immediately, found that it likely could be received in two weeks or so, and decided to invest some of your funds you have given me to buy it. So it will hopefully have no issues in shipping or customs (it will be coming from Canada, Oh! Canada) so let’s all hold space for perfect timing in manufacture and delivery of said machine.
I’m also determined to change how I think, process, and present myself in this process of healing. All the cutting edge science these days is about moving past materialistic science into quantum science, Newtonian vs Einsteinian. Things are easier to wrap our minds around in Newtonian, but Einsteinian has already overthrown that view, and made it less easy to comprehend linearly. Basically, this allows for things that might seem more miraculous, but that actually might not even need to be considered super-natural, but just … natural. I’m going to be doing more reading and application to use these methods that are known and have been shown. Lissa Rankin, Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispenza, and others like them have been advocating for some time that there is another way, more expansive, and less reductionistic. It’s time for me to try my wings there.
So one of the things I’ve enjoyed while here at the local home town hospital, PVH, is ice chips. I’m generally not taking too much in the way of liquids by mouth, and certainly nothing solid. But crunching on ice chips has been almost as satisfying as an icey made with fresh Rocky Mountain Spring Water.
Another thing about being at the local home town hospital, is just how evocative it is for me emotionally. So many of my family members have been in and out of this hospital over the years, that when I was first being admitted here last night, and transported up to my room, I swear I felt a little bit of loving ancestor energy. Oops, there I go crying again.
So there’s the news for this week. Thank you again for your generosity and support. Namaste. 🙏🏼