Pre Red Feather

I had an Avastin infusion today. It was interesting being at the hospital on Labor Day. It is a ghost town. Very quiet and chill. Just a very short infusion time, only 30 minutes. So a long drive down and back for just that, but I have places to go and things to do and get ready for at home, so I decided this time not to try to make a day of it in Denver. Another time. Maybe next time I’ll go to the Wild Animal Sanctuary.

Tomorrow I go up to Red Feather Lakes, Colorado to the Shambhala Mountain Center for the Courageous Women Fearless Living retreat. One of the activities is a pajama party, so we’re to bring our favorite pjs; however, my favorite pjs are so well worn that I’d be embarrassed to wear them in public! So I picked up a new set, which I’ve obviously been needing, which will be fun and very appropriate. Maybe there will be photos later.

Another activity is a final dress up banquet, so I’ll have to pull something together for that. But I won’t be shopping as there must be something around here I can wear! And there will be a No Talent Show, so I might play a bit of piano for that. We’ll see.

In any case, it promises to be a lovely, mindful, connect-y, grow-y experience, in a lovely setting. Grant will take me up and pick me up, too, because it’s a lovely drive and a lovely area.

I’m looking forward to doing more of the emotional, spiritual processing of this whole experience. At the outset of this, it was such an emergency, and there was a tremendous amount of grace made available to me. But as I’m processing now, especially after the recurrence, I’m finding myself wrestling more with existential questions, especially how hard and long would I want to continue in this cancer tango, what do I still want to accomplish, why am I here, what do I want out of life, and what does life want out of me, etc. So I feel this will be a good space to be working on some of this.

In any case, it’s time to go to some Labor Day-ing. I hope you are enjoying yours!

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