Follow up to Venting

Thanks for hearing me and my part out yesterday. I think it was important to be real about it. Life is not always sunshine and roses.

Sorry, that is so cliché.

Life is not always campfires and s’mores. Life is not always silk and riesling. Life is not always cosmos and 12′ sunflowers.

Is that better?

What I’m realizing this morning after sitting with the part yesterday and overnight, is that I really do just need a vacation, from cancer, from normality, whatever this new normal is for me, from same old same old. I talked with Grant for a long time last night.

When I initially got the diagnosis, it was “Emergency! All hands on deck! Sprint to the finish line!” and I’m pretty darn good at that sort of thing. Now it is more like maintenance, marathon, or hiking the Appalachian Trail. Something more sloggy. And I’m not good at sloggy. Ugh. One foot in front of the other. Day in and day out. Ugh. So I guess that’s what I’m going to be learning now. How to slog. Or how to view it as something other than a slog.

From my journaling this morning:

… why spend so much time and effort keeping the body alive just to keep spending so much time and effort to keep the body alive, and not be LIVING!! And what does living mean to me? Well, that is the question. I feel like I have a cosmic assignment to help the planet somehow. But I also want to enjoy myself while I’m here. And to me that means travel. That’s what that means. Travel.

So, that being said, I know French reasonably well, so it occurred to me that one way to get adventure would be to make a bucket list goal of visiting all countries and territories on the Earth that are French speaking, La Francophonie. There is an organization of these places. There are 61 member states and 27 observers. These include Louisiana and Quebec as well as various Caribbean islands and French Guiana in South America. I could start there. There are French speaking cultures on five continents, and it is the only other language with English to be able to claim that. So, maybe that is my long term goal. Will need to set up a travel fund and get serious about saving for such jaunts.

So, just wanted to let you know, I’m moving ahead after hearing out that part that was throwing a temper tantrum. It was throwing said tantrum for a good reason. It has calmed down now that I’ve listened to it.

C-ful-ness.

Yay!