Hair

Today I decided to be proactive and cut off my hair and donate it. I’ve been contemplating it, of course. Decided it seemed that maybe hair was coming out in my hair brush more than normal today, so decided to seize the day. Great Clips did the job, and they donate to a charity for wigs for children with cancer. They required at least 12″ in length, which I had. So now I have a cute, short, summery bob. And what’s more, I did not know this going in, but Great Clips donates the hair cut if you donate the hair. Very nice of them. I feel a bit like a sheep that has been shorn for spring; I felt like kicking up my heels in the parking lot leaving. It also feels like camping hair to me; that is to say, hair that would be easy to camp with and that would not as easily blow away or get stuck in tree branches. I am going to enjoy it while it lasts. Short hair is of course much easier. No more tangles, literally. Might have to dye it purple, too.

In other news, this week has been much better than last. I have been working to put pounds back on that I lost last week. I have been learning how to use our new Fagor multicooker. It does pressure cooking, rice cooking, and slow cooking. I have done all three so far. I have made vegetable soup, and bean soup, as well as rice. My nutritionist Shonna says you can even “hard boil” eggs in the pressure cooker! I would have thought they would explode all over!

I started mistletoe therapy as well. My anthroposophic doctor prescribed it. It is a subcutaneous injection, so I’ve learned how to do that for myself. My primary care provider (PCP) has another patient using mistletoe and is “rocking it” as she said. This person was willing to talk on the phone with me and let me know how it has been working for her. I have also seen my counselor, my PCP, my Jin Shin practitioner, my acupuncturist, and a supplier for liposomal CBD oil, who is herself a cancer survivor.

Additionally, we had further help at the house in the form of Soa, the house cleaner who has beautiful energy, and is also a cancer survivor, as well as help from my dad and his wife Sue in our yard and garden. Sue enjoyed the delicious enhanced sandy loam which is in our yard. It may be a good year to plant a real garden. Much of the Colorado eastern plains are clay based soils, but not right here where we are. We should take advantage.

On another, continuing note, I keep getting feedback from my body that part of what is going on with me and this particular disease is a lack of and need for ART, creativity, generativity. I have not had the cause or occasion to create babies in this lifetime, and it seems maybe my ovaries are pissed about that. So other forms of creativity are needed. I am, always have been, a very artistically inclined person, and recently haven’t been doing anything. I’m trained in music, and some interior design and construction management, as well as counseling. Turns out there is a strong craving to do more visual arts: painting, interior design, even architectural things.

Music, not so much. So often, for me, music is regurgitative rather than creative. I mean, it has its place. It is expressive and sublime and transporting. It is soul-feeding but maybe in a different way.

However, I did have the pleasure of soaking in beautiful music twice this week. Grant’s step-daughter, and spirit-girl, Montana, is studying voice at university. She teaches at an academy, and sings in the sublime chamber choir at the university. She is progressing extremely well. We attended two of her performances this week, one a recital of the teachers at her academy, and the other the final choir concert of the year at the university. In a word: Blissful.

My experience at the teacher recital was out of the norm. Because I had been warned about not getting sick as my immunity is down, and because I was still feeling pretty bad at that point, I sat in the lobby near the performance room, close enough to hear, but not in the midst of the audience. I appreciated that experience surprisingly a lot. The lobby was full of good and interesting interior design and construction techniques. My view was out the window at a new mid-rise apartment building, on the top floor of which were people out enjoying the sunny afternoon on the patio. There was a stunning piece of stained glass work above my head on the wall, and it was framed by an even more stunning one-of-a-kind copper embossed frame, all with no artist credit given. Such a shame, that.

So while I enjoyed listening to the good variety of well done musical performances by the teachers, I also had the joy of feasting my eyes on any number of soul satisfying (for me) visual arts.

I have, as yet, been lax in doing my own creative arts. That is my next major assignment. Per Bernie Siegel, my PCP Jackie has assigned me to draw a picture of myself. And various friends have offered up opportunities to do art. And I have bought art supplies. And I have my stained glass supplies sitting out ready to do. And I have played some non-creative piano pieces. Enjoyable, but not creative. I might have a bit of an artist’s block, what do you think? But my inner artist is chomping at the bit, and is SO excited to get started. So what is stopping me? Hmm, the million dollar question, that.

In any case, art is part of my “marching orders” and I need to get on with it. Somehow, the “to do” list of mundane, practical, everyday things, always seems to take precedent. The old adage that goes something like “finish your work before you can play” seems to be how my programming is running, and yet there is never EVER any end to work. So therefore there is never EVER any time for play. And art, capital-A Art, feels like play. Art feels like non-essential time usage. How am I going to change that perception in myself? Maybe through re-programming in counseling….  We’ll see. Wish me luck.

So back to the top of the page, and revisiting hair. New hair-do feels a bit artsy. Maybe a new color might feel artsy. Elizabeth is in process of making me some post-surgery appropriate moo-moos and head covers. Elizabeth is an artist and a fashionista and I have great hopes. These things also excite my inner artist. Change and new experience are interesting to an artist. Not getting too bogged down in tradition or status quo is interesting to an artist. Bucking those trends is interesting to an artist. So maybe it all begins with shedding my long hair. Who knows?